Me, me, me, it is all about me. To some degree, we all have entitlement feelings. We carry around a sense of being owed for something we have done or for some wonderful trait we have. When we feel entitled, we focus on what we are owed, not what we might need to give to others. It is a "one-way street" mind-set. When these feelings are strong and people don't meet our expectations, we often find ourselves bitter, resentful, and angry. Relationships can be (and often are) destroyed by feelings of entitlement.
How much entitlement do you walk around with in your life? I can see a fair amount of it in mine. I feel those "I deserve" feelings more often than I want to admit. Even in small things, I can see the problem. When I hold the door open for someone, I feel he or she owes me a "thank you" and I get disappointed, when I don't get one. In my relationships, I sometimes catch myself thinking, "so and so owes me this because I have done that for her or him."
Even with my adult daughter, I run into it. If I go to a lot of trouble to do something special for her, or to help her out at cost to my own personal time or money, I can sometimes find myself thinking, "Okay, you owe me some good behavior, as well as your lifelong appreciation for what a great dad I am." (Unfortunately, she is thinking, "I are so doggone cute, it must be a real privilege for him to get to do these things for an adorable daughter like me.)
It's human nature to feel entitled, this isn't pleasant for me to admit. But unless we do admit to having these feelings, we stay in denial about them and they continue to destroy us. The painful truth is that we are not entitled to anything on this planet. You are not entitled to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness," despite what the authors of the Declaration of Independence had to say. Nothing is your birthright! You are not entitled to anything, not even the next breath you hope to take.
Now, the good news, while we are owed nothing, it is perfectly fine to pursue what we want (within reason and as long as it is “right”). For example, we aren't owed our spouse's or parents' love, but it is fine to want it. We aren't owed a high-paying job because we may have a diploma or a special talent, but it is okay to want a high-paying job and try to find one. We aren't owed a thank you for anything we do, but it is okay to want one and hope to get one.
Entitlement is a self-serving, one-way street attitude that creates bitterness and resentment in the people who feel entitled and in the people around them who don't like being treated that way. The fruits of the sense of entitlement is seen all about , the person who takes something from work, the wife who cheats on her husband, the child who copies and exam, the man in the car tailgating you. It plays itself out in the governing of the country, I am entitled to this benefit, this money, this special privilege, regardless if the country can afford it or not, just cut someone else’s entitlement, because I am more deserving than they are. You see it at your church, if you are honest with yourself, I have been here longer, and I have done this or that. I, I, I, it is all about I.
Take a minute to examine your own entitlement assumptions. Have you fallen into this way of thinking? Toward whom or what do you harbor feelings of entitlement? How has it affected you emotionally? How has it affected your relationships?
Are you willing to try to let go of entitlement attitudes and feelings wherever they may be directed? Because if you do not, a sense of entitlement always leads to one outcome… It is the seed of entitlement that once nurtured grows into one of the most destructive feelings a person is capable of. One that is in the process of destroying a nation, marriages, families, friendships, and your relationship with God. Entitlement is but the birthplace of Resentment.
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