Entitlement = Resentment = Anger = Death (Part 5 of 5)

This is the final destination of resentment.  You don’t have to have read the headlines about the studies showing dangerous ill-health effects of anger; some call it the heart attack emotion.  Instinctively you know it is true.  But here is what you miss; this is what the articles don’t point out, what they usually don't tell you is that the harmful effects of anger come not from their frequency or intensity.  Rather they come from duration: how long it lasts.  Unhealthy levels of anger are those that last longer than a few minutes.  In other words, the real culprit is the seed of resentment, which quiets now and then but never stops.

For a model of how anger is supposed to function (in a normal well adjusted person), you need look no further than common house cats.  When your cat gets angry, he'll arch his back, hiss, slash at the drapes, run through the house, jump off the walls, etc.  However, within five minutes, he's licking himself like it never happened; if he was angry at you, he'll rub your legs and purr.  The animal responds to his perception of a noxious stimulus in the environment.  Following his natural instincts about anger, he either corrects his perception (there's not really a threat) or adapts to it - the dog has to live here, too. As quickly as it came over him, the anger is completely gone.

But we don't do anger that way.  We think about it afterwards.  We dwell of how things should be and how unfair they are, how we were disregarded, devalued, disrespected, or wrongly rejected.  We fantasize about things didn't happen: "When he said that, I should have said this.  Then he would have said that, and I would have said this!  He would have replied with...and I would have...." Such imaginary dialogue can recur, off and on, for days, months or even years.

The end result of this is predictable, long-lasting resentment can cause depression and lower immune system efficiency - if you're resentful a lot you probably experience lots of little aches and pains - headaches, stomachaches, muscle pain, difficulty sleeping, etc.  You may get frequent colds and bouts of flu.  Admit it, you know someone like that, it might even be you.  Left to go its course, chronic resentment puts you at higher risk of hypertension, stroke, heart disease, and cancer.

But that isn’t the worst of it, the resentment-laden consciousness cries out to be altered by something - a drink, drug, someone else’s wife or husband,  large doses of caffeine or nicotine, or some compulsive behavior that will ease the tension, dissipate the sour feeling, energize the tiredness, or relieve the leaden mood, because after all “you deserve it”.  Affairs, drinking and drugging, new toys, new thrills create an illusion of power that mitigates the powerlessness of resentment.  It is this illusion of power that twelve-step programs target as the primary barrier to recovery - the first "Step" is admitting to powerlessness over the drug.  

It is the illusion of power and entitlement that traps you into a lifestyle of unrepentant sin, a lifestyle that becomes progressively more self-center, and more destructive to yourself and those around you.  As opposed to reality and truth, resentment greatly distorts thinking - through oversimplification, confirmation bias, inability to grasp other perspectives, and an inability to distinguish thoughts from reality.  Over time, resentment becomes a world view and a way of life.  Because the resentful have to devalue others to protect their fragile egos, resentment inevitably leads to some form of verbal or emotional abuse and, eventually to contempt and disgust.  In the end is the illusion of power that traps you into fooling yourself that you are somehow owed all that you steal, that you are somehow entitled.  When in reality and more importantly in God’s eyes, it is your lifestyle that has become contemptible and disgusting.  

For the originator of entitlement simply look at Satan, he believes he is entitled, is that really who you want to pattern your life after, all the while professing to believe in God?   Entitlement, such a dangerous thought, the seed of much of the sin that you choose to commit begins with one simple thought, "I am entitled".  Painful as it is to admit, you are not entitled, no more than Satan is.  Don't let that truth get too far away from you in life, or you will receive in death exactly what you are entitled to.  

 Previous Post Entitlement - Resentment (Part 4 of 5)

Previous Post - Entitlement I, I, I, it's about I. (part 3 of 5)

Previous Post Entitlement A Quiz (Part 2 of 5) 

Previous Post Entitlement The Enemy Within (Part 1 of 5)

Angry with God, as a Christian I Understand

I have a daughter, and I love her very much.  I’m not quite sure she understands quite yet, just how much I do love her; because sometimes being a dad, means you have to chose ‘doing right’ over ‘being right’.  During the course of her life, there have been many times when she was angry at me, angry because I would not let her have what she wanted, angry because I would not let her go out, angry because I would not let her stay up, angry because I made would not let her skip school; angry because I will not sign off on her choices, angry because I said ‘NO’.  I have been thinking about that a lot lately and it lead me to ask this question: 

Does anyone have a valid reason for being angry with God?

My answer to that question, as well as my thoughts about “anger with God” probably depend on the extent to which I am inclined to “be right” or to “do right” as a way of life.  If my answer is, “of course I am never right to be angry with God,” then invariably the next question becomes“, but what if I am?”  Or what if I really feel that I do have a valid reason to be angry with God?  God promises to always be with us, but what if it does not feel as if He is; what if like Jesus I cry out “My God My God, why have you forsaken me?”  Matthew 27:46 

Perhaps there are some of you who have lived such blessed, joyful lives, that you have never felt that anguish.  While there are others who morn the loss of their child, their marriage, their home, their career, their health, their dreams.  What of them, do they have a valid reason to be angry with God?  

Anger is an emotion, a reaction to a situation, as is grief, fear, despair, disappointment.  If it is okay to express grief, fear despair and disappointment to God, then why not anger?  Has my daughter on occasion had a reason to be angry with me?  Yes, because I’m the one who drew up the rules, I was the one who said no, and I understand what that means.  However, on those times when she was angry with me, it did not change my answer, nor did it alter the fact that I loved her with every ounce of my being.

 

So the next time you are thinking about trying to hide the things you are going through emotionally because you do not want to hear people tell you that you shouldn’t feel that way, because you aren’t trusting God enough, is to deny your humanness and the truth.  Moreover, those people are not being real, honest, or Christian.  If you find yourself angry with God, I picture Him looking upon you, smiling, nodding His head, saying I understand.  God is big enough and loves you enough to handle it.

How, Not to be a Christian III

If you are asking yourself 'What is Christianity' then you need to know what it isn't:

 Step 3.  Acting on your Anger

You will notice that I did not write simply ‘anger’; far to many Christians have come to the mistaken belief that anger is a sin.  Often they refer back to Jesus’ sermon on the mount “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.” ^{Matthew 5:21-22}  But the interpretation that Jesus is saying that anger is a sin would be incorrect.

Paul addresses anger in his typical style – head on- Paul declares, “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” ^{Eph 4:26}.  Paul clearly indicates that it is possible for us to feel angry without sinning. How can this be?  Or consider in the book of Mark when figs were out of season, yet Jesus is hungry and in his very human response as he walked past a fig tree with no figs on it cursed the fig tree.  Some look for deeper meaning in that verse, I find comfort in it, as I sit frustrated in traffic on my way to and from the office.

Jesus’ teaching isn’t that anger is a sinful emotion; rather that it is a dangerous one.  It isn’t anger that is the sin it is what we do with that anger.  Coming to accept that anger is a perfectly normal human response is the first step in eliminating the guilt that so many Christians impose upon themselves when they feel angry. It took me a long, long time to understand the chain reaction that believing anger by and of itself was a sin.  

This point cannot be overstated or overlooked.  If you believe like I once did, that your feelings of anger are sinful; then like me, you will be inclined to judge yourselves unfairly, even harshly whenever you feel angry.  When I felt angry, I assumed that God was displeased with me, which made it that much more difficult to approach him for help. The end result was that I repressed my feelings of anger, with the entire psychological backlash that results.  If you view anger the same, you have made yourself a sitting duck for the sort for just the type of emotional cycle that Satan seeks to use to separate us from God.

Anger when channeled in the right direction can be very beneficial, I doubt much would be done, or accomplished without there first being a seed of anger within someone.  If I write a book because I am angry about how people view a subject or if you decide to start a program to help benefit someone else; because you’re frustrated that certain needs, are not being properly met. Then the anger we experience is the seed that creates and an energizing force that moves us to act.

Anger is not a sinful emotion but a human one. Anger is the most dangerous of all emotions, Anger expressed with hostility, and outrage can and often times is the most destructive of all emotions, destroying relationships, careers, families, friendships, and lives.  Yet anger can be harnessed and directed in a manner and direction that results in reflecting God’s best intentions for us.

So I blog…….

How Not to be a Christian part 4 

How Not to be a Christian part 2