Christian Church Bulletin Bloopers

To end your week, just a list of the top ten church bulletin bloopers of the week,  because you have to be able to laugh at yourself.

10. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 

9. Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation

8. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

7. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

6. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

5. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

4. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

3. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

2. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. 

And the number 1 church bulletin blooper of the week is: 


1. The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.' 

 

10 +1 Reasons for the Christian to Examine Yourself (part 2)

As we continue to study 'What is Christianity" The second half of the 10 + 1 reasons we should take the time to examine ourselves to see if we are in the faith … least we fail.

6. What is it to be “In the faith”?

Ephesians 4:5 says that there is "one faith”, but 1Timothy 4:15 predicts that men would "abandon the faith" and follow different teachings.  This shows that "the faith" is the Gospel message that produces our faith.  In Galatians 1:23 "the faith" is what Paul preached when he preached the Gospel.  In 1Timothy 4:6 the "good teaching" which Timothy followed is called the "truths of the faith”.  1Timothy 5:8 says one can "deny the faith."  Therefore, we must be in the teaching of the faith, or we are not in the faith.  Being "in the faith" is being within the faith's message.

7. But I Feel Saved

No one would argue that you do not have cancer just because you feel free of cancer.  It would be foolish to depend upon how we feel as to if we have high blood pressure or not.  However, many sincere people believe that they are in the faith because of their feelings.  Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.  Who can understand it?”  Proverbs 14:12 warns, “There is a way  that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to Death”.  Everyone at one time or another has been on a wrong road while sincerely feeling that it was the right road, but sincere feelings did not make it the right road, nor did it get you to where you wanted to go.  Feeling right is not the same as being right.

8. Lost People Can Feel Saved

Rule 1 – Feelings Lie!  Chief sinner Saul of Tarsus said that he was fully convinced by his conscience to believe assuredly that he should oppose Christians (Acts 23:1 and 26:9).  While murdering Christians like Stephen in Acts 7, Saul zealously trusted the traditions of his fathers, which made him feel saved (Acts 22:3 and Galatians 1:14.)  He often later uses his own conversion to beg his fellow Jews to see how they, too, were zealous, convinced, sincere, and yet sincerely lost.  Jesus told the Jews that they thought that they had eternal life, but did not (John 5:39).  These examples are in the Bible to warn us not to trust our eternal soul upon our deceitful and momentary feelings.  Lost people can feel saved today.

9. Many Will Be Misled

In Matthew 7:13-14 Jesus warned His religious countrymen that the road to eternal destruction is broad and has a wide gate through which many are lost.  "But small is the gate and narrow is the road that leads to life and only a few find it.”  The reason is given immediately after in Matthew 7:15 - 23 that false teachers would cause many to say on the last day, " 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’  Then will I tell them plainly, 'I never knew you.  Away from me, you evildoers.’ "   This isn’t just occupying space in your Bible, Jesus spoke it to warn you, if you apply the warning or not is entirely up to you.  You may think you are saved by following the ways of men, but be lost on the last day.  Jesus stressed that most people ‘Christians’ would be lost while thinking they are saved.

10. A Changed Gospel Damns

Paul's shocking warning in Galatians 1:6-8 applies today: "You are following a different way that pretends to be the Good News but is not the Good News at all.  You are being fooled by those who deliberately twist the truth concerning Christ.  Let God’s curse fall on anyone, including us or even an angel from heaven, who preaches a different kind of Good News than the one we preached to you.”  Only the true original Gospel can save us from ourselves.  This is why a changed gospel condemns, because while it makes you believe / feel you are saved, when in reality you stand on the edge of the abyss.  A different gospel damns instead of saves.

+ 1. Obeying, Not Just Believing

When a young man joined a popular denomination, he was taught to ‘accept Christ as his personal Savior and to receive Jesus into his heart’ so that he would be saved.  When he did this, he really felt saved, even though he only believed the good news and was not obeying it.  By accepting a changed gospel he had not actually obeyed the Gospel. The two verses below  illustrate the difference, “But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance.  You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness”. Romans 6:17-18   “Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart. For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God”. 1Peter 1:22-23

 

Believing the Gospel without obeying the Gospel does not save.

 

 

 

10 +1 Reasons for the Christian to Examine Yourself (part 1)

When was the last time you went to have a physical? Okay maybe that isn't the best example; lots of us don't do that on a regular basis (hint, go for your annual physical).  Perhaps I should use as an example when was the last time you had your eyes examined?  Probably more frequently then the last time you examined your beliefs, your thoughts, your actions, to see if in fact they match up to your professed faith. 

So just why is it that I fail to take every opportunity to examine myself?  Is it because if I have my eyes examined, that's all I have to do?  I don't have to change anything, the doctor does that for me, she orders my new glasses or contacts, all I have to do is sit there and answer a couple questions regarding what I see (or more recently, don't see).  Give me a magic pill, and bam, my weight problem is solved, my face is lifted, my muscle mass is increased, I’m faster, stronger; instantaneous - that’s our idea of how to fix something.   

But if I examine myself in regards to my faith, what happens when I uncover a blemish, or worst yet a serious breach?  I can’t pay someone to fix me; I have to make the difficult choice to change. I have to align my walk to my talk?  That's just not something most of us want to face.  It's just easier to tell ourselves that we are a nice person, and so we must be okay.  Because it is easier to feel like I am right, then to know that I am wrong.  One deceives, the other convicts.

10 + 1 Reasons to Examine Yourself

1. Examining is Commanded

It was not a request, the words “examine” and “test” are imperative mood words, which means that they are commands which must be obeyed.  1 Thessalonians 5:21 also commands “Test all things; hold fast what is good” and 1 Corinthians 11:28 instructs “But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup.”  1 John 4:1 told all Christians “do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world”.  Examining ourselves, what we believe and what we do is commanded by God.

2. Don’t Assume Too Much

The most important thing on earth is a person's relationship to God.  Therefore, one should be more careful about his soul than about any other thing.  Somehow, religious people can be very careless about what they are taught and very gullible as to what they believe.  Acts 17:11 says that when Jews in Berea heard Paul's preaching, they "examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.”  They did not assume that because a minister preached something that it automatically agreed with the Bible.  They checked it to see for sure, and we must check our Bible to be sure.

3. Why So Careful in Other Things

When Jesus visited two sisters, Mary and Martha, He told Martha that she was "worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed" (Luke 10:41.)  Martha was too concerned about serving food to Jesus, while Mary was totally engrossed in serving Jesus with her life.  Why is it that people will be very careful about the tires on their car, about their cholesterol, or about their children's teeth, but have never given a moment's thought to a spiritual checkup?  To risk your soul is far worse than to risk these things.

4. Examine Yourself, Not Others

Paul's command to the Corinthians was to get them to examine themselves instead of him.  Somehow, we have no trouble criticizing others and seeing where they should be better and do better, when Jesus said, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”  (Matthew 7:3)  This is why most people "pay no attention" to examining themselves, they are to busy examining others.  2 Corinthians 10:12 and 18 say that the Corinthians were commending themselves and measuring themselves with themselves, but it isn't the one who commends himself  who is approved, "but the one whom the Lord commends."  We must examine ourselves before God for His approval, instead of for self-approval or for the approval of others.  We must examine ourselves, not others.

5. Are You in the Faith?

Paul doubts that many of the Corinthians were "in the faith.”  He fears that they cannot pass the test of "the truth”, meaning the truth of God's Word.  The same applies to us today, can you imagine the degree of  doubt Paul would have in regards to our churches and us?  People can and do believe and feel that they are ”in the faith”, when in reality they are far from it.  However, they do not know this, because they are unwilling to take the truth test of God's Word.  They have an assumed relationship with God that is not based upon the facts of the Bible.  They assume that they are in the faith, but a self-test would reveal to them that they are not.  Deception can be so very subtle and comforting.  Ask yourself the question, "What is Christianity?"

To be continued……