Christian Divorce - The Biblical view

“The Christian’s love for the person for whom he has committed himself is called on to remain faithful even when rejected; and to pursue relentlessly, powerfully, sweetly, even when its object flees it – as men did God’s”  Gordon Fee

So you call yourself a Christian.  However you are planning on divorcing your spouse.  Hmmm… Just in case you have somehow missed what the Bible (that would be God’s word) has to say about it, I have listed both the Old Testament and New Testament verses that address divorce and adultery.  Because adultery is what you commit when you remarry, and God is very clear about the fate of adulterers. 

Now some will tell you that you can do whatever you like and you will be forgiven because you are a Christian, and you may like hearing that, but it is not the truth, and there is not one verse in the bible that supports such a claim.  Others, perhaps more reasoned will tell you that divorce is a sin, but you can be forgiven for it if you repent; I tend to fall into that viewpoint, however there is one huge question to that answer - and it is a pretty sticky one, ‘How do you repent from divorcing the one God joined you together with?’

“You shall not commit adultery”  Exodus 20:14     The 7th of the Ten Commandments

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”  Exodus 20:17     The 10th of the Ten Commandments

If a man is found lying with a woman married to a husband, then both of them shall die—the man that lay with the woman, and the woman; so you shall put away the evil from Israel.  Deuteronomy 22:22

‘The man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, he who commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress, shall surely be put to death.  Leviticus 20:10

And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the LORD with tears, With weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands.  Yet you say, “For what reason?”  Because the LORD has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant.  But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit?  And why one?  He seeks godly offspring.  Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.  “ For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts.  “ Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”  You have wearied the LORD with your words; Yet you say, In what way have we wearied Him?”  In that you say, “ Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the LORD, And He delights in them,” Or, “Where is the God of justice?”  Malachi 2:13-17

Or do you not know, brethren (for I speak to those who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives?  For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives.  But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband.  So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.   Romans 7:1-3

Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.  But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.  And a husband is not to divorce his wife.  1Corinthians 7:10-11

The Pharisees came and asked Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” testing Him.  And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?”  They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.”  And Jesus answered and said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.  But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’  ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”  In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter.  So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.  And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”  Mark 10:2-12

“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.  Luke 16:18

“Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’  But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery”.   Matthew 5:31-32  (part of the Sermon on the Mount, do not miss Jesus' warning at the end of it)

And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, even for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”  Matthew 19:9

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?  Do not be deceived.  Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.  1 Corinthians 6:9-10

And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock:  and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.  “But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.”  Matthew 7:23-27 (Jesus’ warning at the end of the Sermon on the Mount)

Your legacy is about to be written, it is either about you, or about God, time for you to choose.  If you choose your will over His will, let me know how that repenting from divorcing the one God joined you together with works.  Share with us how repenting from all the destruction, hurt, broken dreams, pain and suffering you caused to your spouse, children, friends, family and society works.  

As I have said before - You are either a fan of Christ or a Christian, however ask any football fan, being a fan is not the same as being on the team. You can not divorce your spouse and call yourself a Christian, the two are mutually exclusive. 

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Christian Divorce - The Divorce Season

As the Christmas season draws quickly to a close, we (at least in the United States) are about to enter another season   -  Across America there are ten of thousands of husbands, wives, and children who will shortly discover that this past Christmas was the final Christmas for their family.   A husband or a wife will have decided that it is their spouse that is making them unhappy and seek to end their marriage;   “The Divorce Season” will have begun.  Shortly after the New Year has commenced, divorce filing surge in the United States.   There has been a lot of energy, money and time spent trying to ascertain exactly why that is, which I find particularly disturbing.  Does it really matter why or when?  There is no good time to divorce.   But more disturbing is the reaction to it within the churches and Christian community, as “professing Christians” in greater numbers then agnostics or atheists swell the ranks of the newly divorced.  

It seems that in America at least, that the Christian community and churches have decided to pay only lip service to the permanency of marriage. We have become a tolerant culture, individual happiness is what we have decided God wants most for us; being holy is something only radicals concern themselves with.  This is snapshot of what that attitude has brought America, all of which cause these words to flash across my mind; ‘Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but everyone followed the dictates of his evil heart… Therefore thus says the LORD: “Behold, I will surely bring calamity on them which they will not be able to escape; and though they cry out to Me, I will not listen to them.” ’ Jeremiah 11:8 & Jeremiah 11:11

America has the highest divorce rate in the world – Twice as high as the next country.

Professing American Christians make up the majority of that number.   

The divorce rate among Christians is higher then that of any other religion, agnostics or atheist.

Each 100 additional divorces causes two additional suicides, 1 additional murder, 6 additional rapes, 33 additional armed robberies, and puts another 100 men in prison.

Divorce increases the premature mortality rates of fathers, mothers, and the children of divorce.

Children whose parents have divorced are increasingly the victims of abuse. They exhibit more health, behavioral, and emotional problems, are involved more frequently in and drug abuse, and have higher rates of suicide.

Only 42% of all children between the ages of 14 to 18 live in an intact two-parent family.  And each year over 1 million American children are forced to endure the divorce of their parents. 

70% of children coming from divorced families consider divorce an adequate answer to marital problems (even if children are present), compared to only 40% of children from non-divorced families.

Recent sociological studies have pointed to a variety of long-term economic, social, physical, and mental health consequences that divorce has on the families, men, women, children, and society.  Conversely no study thus far has been able to find even one benefit to society or the family as a result of divorce.   However that is not the point of this post. The point of this post is simple and over the next several weeks I will address this issue a couple of times in hopes of perhaps saving one family from the devastating consequences of divorce.  

  

I have mentioned before that it is rare to hear a minister give just one sermon on repentance or obedience, let alone a series.  It is so much easier to fill the pews with sermons on prosperity, and immunity.  So it should come as no surprise that the topic of divorce as a sin of gigantic proportions, one that leads to the loss of all moral authority, of eternal consequences, as the ultimate act of narcissism and selfishness; a sin that left un-repented, leads to the eternal separation from God.  As churches across the nations turn a blind eye to the behavior choices of those who fill the pews on Sunday morning, it is rapidly becoming apparent that divorce is the single most critical issue facing the church today.  

With that said, the next statements may offend some of you, perhaps most of you, however they are connected, and if you can not see the connection then you simply do not wish to, and nothing I say or write can alter that. 

In an article in the New York Times (12/28/2011) Mr. T.K. (I have omitted his name), a male teacher in Marion, Ill., who was turned away by Catholic Charities three years ago when he and his longtime partner (also a man), tried to adopt a child, said: “We’re both Catholic, we love our church”.   Likewise, is the husband or wife who chooses to divorce his or her spouse while professing to be a Christian.  You must understand this point – You can not choose to live a lifestyle that chooses to directly disobey the word of God, and then claim to be a Christian (or Catholic), while you may ‘feel’ like you are a Catholic or a Christian, your actions say otherwise.  You cannot seek to divorce your spouse and call yourself a Christian.  They are mutually exclusive.  To do the first and claim the second, simply makes you a liar. 

The Church and Christians alike hesitate to take a hard stand against the immorality of those who choose to practice a lifestyle of homosexuality in part, because they have failed to obey God’s command in regards to marriage and divorce (is it any surprise that gay marriages are now becoming the law of the land).  You can not excuse your own sexual immorality while opposing another’s without being a hypocrite.  

Make no mistake about it; Jesus drew a very hard line on divorce and subsequent remarriage.  He repeatedly commanded against it, calling those who chose to do so and especially those who forced it onto their spouse an adulterer.   While you may feel differently, as we have exampled in previous postings, what you feel has absolutely no bearing on the truth.  If you feel differently it is time you go to the Bible, learn the truth and OBEY it.   

Your actions are about to declare for the world to see if your are in fact a Christian or just a ‘fan’ of Christ’s.  Saint Ambrose wrote this warning to those who were about to chose this path “You dismiss your wife, therefore, as if by right and without being charged with wrongdoing; and you suppose it is proper for you to do so because no human law forbids it; but divine law forbids it.  Anyone who obeys men should stand in awe of God.”

 

And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, even for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” Matthew 19:9

“ Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?  Do not be deceived.  Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.”  1 Corinthians 6:9-10     

      

We will visit this issue again, this is only my opening salvo on this subject as we enter “The Divorce Season” and perhaps I would not have to write as much on it, if our churches and those who fill the pews each Sunday took a more diligent approach to the subject. 

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