If I were to sin against you, are you under obligation to forgive me even if I refuse to acknowledge and turn from what I have done against you? This is a not nearly as complicated as most of us make it. I have heard to many times to recall from someone who has betrayed their spouse, stabbed their co-worker in the back, or taken something from another person that the one who has been injured just needs to forgive them and get on with their life. It is a coldly callous and self serving attitude along with a distorted Christian viewpoint. Frequently I wonder just why the individual supposes that God has forgiven them of their sins, when the Bible clearly says otherwise.
Jesus taught his disciples to pray ‘Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors’ Matthew 6:12. Does that mean that we have to forgive someone even when they refuse reconciliation, someone who refuses to repent? That question is far more important than most of us realize, it is a hard question, one that cuts to the heart of our faith, the individual who seeks to forgive, and to the individual who needs the forgiveness.
First, we must acknowledge that the debts we owe one another pale in comparison to the infinite debt we owe God, our heavenly father. It is because we have been forgiven an infinite debt, that it would be an horrendous act of evil to remotely consider withholding forgiveness from those who (and this is important) seek it. Thus we must always be willing to manifest the kind of love that is willing to forgive those who wrong us.
Furthermore, forgiveness is by simple definition a two-way street, one that leads to the restoration of fellowship. By that I mean, that it requires someone who is willing to forgive, and someone who wants to be forgiven. If you are to forgive me for the sins I have committed against you, I must be willing to turn from those sins, I must be willing to seek to restore that which I took from you; I must be repentant; otherwise, there can be no restoration of fellowship (i.e. forgiveness). Nowhere in the Bible does God offer forgiveness without repentance on the part of the individual who has sinned.
Finally, we must never suppose that our standard of forgiveness is higher than God’s standard. He objectively (something that actually exists) offers us forgiveness and restoration of fellowship with Him. However His forgiveness is not subjectively realized (it does not belong to you), until you repent.
For those who need to forgive and for those who need forgiveness these two verses might well be worth taking to heart.
“Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:37-38
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you; leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23-24
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