I was at my Bible study group the other night as we were discussing the often misunderstood, and difficult subject of ‘First Fruit” (which I have discussed on several previous blogs ) when a point was raised about giving first fruits even if you don’t want to, but doing it only because it is what is expected. I have been thinking about that point and the impact of being a servant but not a willing servant, and the struggle each of us (okay maybe it is just me) has with being a willing servant.
Let’s face it; we all like to use our time and money our way. It’s ‘our time’, ‘our money’ and when you are used to calling your time and money your own, it is extremely difficult to give up that control. For the purpose of this blog, I am going to address only the time issue, because time is our most precious commodity, the one thing that we value over even perhaps money. I’ve been learning to allow God to use my time for His glory and honor, but, like many of you, I continue to struggle with my will for my time.
Even when it finally occurred to me that God was prompting me to give Him more of my time; I still attempted to fit my desires into ‘my’ schedule before His. Slowly however, day by day it became increasingly difficult to fit everything I wanted to do and everything He wanted me to do into one day. One day, push came to shove, and you do not want to get into a pushing match with God, I resigned myself to choosing His best plan over my not so great plan. At first I felt conflicted over not accomplishing all that was on my “to do” list, there was so much ‘I’ wanted to do, so much ‘I’ needed to do, that I didn’t have time for .
I wanted to please Him, but I also wanted to please myself. The fleshly desire for “my way” was strong. My problem was that I was more worried about accomplishing my will than His. It took a while, but eventually He convicted me of the fact that if your heart isn’t in it, then it is merely lip service.
So where am I at now? I wish I could say that I now embrace each day as He planned it, but that would be a lie. Wholeheartedness comes and goes. No one is perfect in obedience or submission. I still struggle, but I am further down the road then I was yesterday, and have faith that I will be even further tomorrow.
If you have ever looked at Strong’s Concordance you might have discovered that the word “control” is not listed. Apparently, there is not one single verse where God tells us that He is in control or that He demands control over us. But it is so much easier to blame God when our personal perspective is the concept of “He’s controlling”?
God wants us to willingly obey and submit to His will, but he will not force us to. We do have a choice in the matter. Thankfully, as any loving father would, disobedience always seems to bring correction.
“For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. “ Hebrews 12:6-10
However, if we have accepted Him as our Savior and Lord over our life, why are we so unwilling to obey and submit to Him? It seems a paradox until we remember that all of us fight our sin nature constantly. We feel the unrelenting pull of pleasing ourselves, and must strive to conquer our will. I however take heart in knowing that Paul also struggled with the battle over the flesh. He writes in Romans 7:15-24
“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?”
Here is a final comment from Apostle Peter:
Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; 3 not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. 1 Peter 5:2-3
The key word is “willingly”.
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