Forgiveness, Must I forgive someone who is not rependant?

If I were to sin against you, are you under obligation to forgive me even if I refuse to acknowledge and turn from what I have done against you?  This is a not nearly as complicated as most of us make it.  I have heard to many times to recall from someone who has betrayed their spouse, stabbed their co-worker in the back, or taken something from another person that the one who has been injured just needs to forgive them and get on with their life.  It is a coldly callous and self serving attitude along with a distorted Christian viewpoint.  Frequently I wonder just why the individual supposes that God has forgiven them of their sins, when the Bible clearly says otherwise. 

Jesus taught his disciples to pray ‘Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors’ Matthew 6:12.  Does that mean that we have to forgive someone even when they refuse reconciliation, someone who refuses to repent?  That question is far more important than most of us realize, it is a hard question, one that cuts to the heart of our faith, the individual who seeks to forgive, and to the individual who needs the forgiveness.

First, we must acknowledge that the debts we owe one another pale in comparison to the infinite debt we owe God, our heavenly father.  It is because we have been forgiven an infinite debt, that it would be an horrendous act of evil to remotely consider withholding forgiveness from those who (and this is important) seek it.  Thus we must always be willing to manifest the kind of love that is willing to forgive those who wrong us. 

Furthermore, forgiveness is by simple definition a two-way street, one that leads to the restoration of fellowship.  By that I mean, that it requires someone who is willing to forgive, and someone who wants to be forgiven.  If you are to forgive me for the sins I have committed against you, I must be willing to turn from those sins, I must be willing to seek to restore that which I took from you; I must be repentant; otherwise, there can be no restoration of fellowship (i.e. forgiveness).  Nowhere in the Bible does God offer forgiveness without repentance on the part of the individual who has sinned.

Finally, we must never suppose that our standard of forgiveness is higher than God’s standard.  He objectively (something that actually exists) offers us forgiveness and restoration of fellowship with Him.  However His forgiveness is not subjectively realized (it does not belong to you), until you repent. 

For those who need to forgive and for those who need forgiveness these two verses might well be worth taking to heart. 

“Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.  Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:37-38

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you; leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23-24

The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

As I have said before, If your faith can not save you from your own self-centeredness, your own selfishness, then it will not save you from Hell.  Is it possible for you to say this prayer and mean every single word?  If you want to get over yourself, this is a good place to begin.

Lord, 

Make me an instrument of thy peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console,

To be understood as to understand,

To be loved as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Amen

St. Francis of Assisi (1181-1226)

Adultery American Style

Valentine’s Day is over and with it comes the end of the “American Divorce Season”; that is not to say that the continued onslaught by Christians against their marriages will not continue; it will just slow slightly. But just a word to those who can hear.   

If you are a Christian you would probably agree with this statement ‘Continuing in sin does not cause it to cease being sin’.  A person who steals from his neighbors continues to sin, a person who slanders his co-workers continues to sin.   If a practicing homosexual comes to Christ it is expected that they repent of their sin and refrain from further homosexual acts.   If an unwed person in a fornicating or adulterous relationship comes to Christ it is expected that they repent of their sin and refrain from further sexually immoral acts.  If a person continues in this sin his conversion is suspect since the fruit that is borne does not match the verbal profession.  If a professing Christian enters into adulterous relations they should be disciplined by the local fellowship for sexual sin and treated as an unbeliever until they repent (Matt. 18:15-18; I Cor. 5:11-13).  One cannot have sexual relations with his neighbor’s wife and then claim that since he committed adultery with her once he is now free to continue sexual relations with her.  

Now here is where it gets difficult for the American Christian and the American church…. The Bible teaches that when a person enters into a marriage with a divorced person they enter into an illegitimate sexual relationship with another person’s spouse.  That is why it is called adultery.  Since this relationship is adulterous at its inception the only logical conclusion is that it remains adulterous through its entirety.

Jesus did not say that they commit adultery only during the first sexual act and then it stops.  Paul uses the future tense when he states that the remarried woman “will be called an adulterous” (Romans 7:2).  This is contrasted with his statement “And such were some of you” (I Cor. 6:11).  Paul uses the imperfect tense to show that they were forgiven of the sins listed in verses 9 and 10.  He warns them against further practicing theses sins because those who do “will not inherit the kingdom of God

Most believe that they have not sinned by remarrying after divorce.  However The New Testament states seven times in six passages that remarriage after divorce is adultery.  The Bible does leave some room for grace for the individual who is rejected and divorced by their spouse, by transferring the guilt of their adultery to the one who committed the divorce, “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery”.  Matthew 5:31-32.  But it is still adultery.

 

However there is absolutely no indication of any grace given to the one who commits adultery, who decides they are not in love anymore, or just wants to abandon their spouse for any other reason.  In fact it clearly states time after time that there is no room in Heaven for those guilty of unrepented adultery.   Just because some do not believe these actions are sinful does not make it so.  All it makes them is a hypocrite, they excuse their own sexual immorality while condemning others.  

I use to believe that most if given the opportunity would choose love, honor, faith,  loyalty, and forgiveness; however I have come to realize that  when Jesus revealed that the path to Heaven was narrow, that in fact what he was revealing is that most blindly and bitterly choose Hell. 

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