Christian Church Bulletin Bloopers

To end your week, just a list of the top ten church bulletin bloopers of the week,  because you have to be able to laugh at yourself.

10. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 

9. Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation

8. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

7. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

6. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

5. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

4. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

3. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

2. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. 

And the number 1 church bulletin blooper of the week is: 


1. The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.' 

 

Forgotten and Stuffed into a Closet of the Christian

If I were to be truly honest, I must admit that I would be hard pressed to see any difference between how ‘American Christians’ and worldly people think, act and behave.  Mostly what I see, and what God must see is more similarities than differences in how people view life, work and their families.  The heartbreaking reality is that what the vast majority of Christians, think separates them from their worldly friends is in reality, nothing more than religion.

Maybe you know the two people I am about to discuss, perhaps you see one of them in the mirror every morning.  

Two people show up at work on a given day at the same time.  They both drive the same make and model car, wear pretty much the same clothes and have the same plate lunches (that ‘s  a Hawaii thing) during their lunch break.  These two people go to their jobs and do them equally well.  At the end of the day, they clock out and drive home to houses that look the same, on streets that are the same. 

Both of these people sit down to eat dinner with their family (okay, probably not) and then spend the evening watching television or playing on their computers.  Sometime late in the evening, they brush their teeth, and fall into bed.  With the rise of a new morning, their alarms go off at the same time and they crawl out of bed, and begin the whole process again.  

These two people do this same routine five days per week, 50 weeks a year.  They both receive their paycheck every Friday for equal amounts.  On Saturday, they both spend time watching their kids play soccer or baseball and on Saturday night, they go out with their wives to a movie, and maybe dinner.  

The only difference between these two people comes on Sunday when one of them drags the family to church (or is drug to church, by his spouse) and the other goes to play golf.

The one who goes to church spends most of his time dreaming about the golf course where he would rather be, while the one playing golf does not think at all about missing church.  By Sunday afternoon, both of these people settle down to watch the Steelers once again beat the Ravens (yes, I am  a Steeler fan) as they pig out on pizza and nachos.

Here are my questions: Is the person in the above example that went to church on Sunday a Christian JUST because he went to church? 

Is the person who played golf on Sunday automatically a heathen because he did not go to church?  

Is one's Christianity really determined by how one spends a couple of hours per week?  

What really is the difference between these two people other than religion?

God did not so love the world that He gave His only Son to promote a new religion.  Jesus did not lay down His life so that two thousand years later people would show up at a building once a week and somehow magically be His people by doing so.  The Holy Spirit was not given, so that it could be forgotten and stuffed into a closet until we are on our deathbed.

Christianity is a relationship between a person and their Savior and has little, if anything, to do with the carrying out of traditions or the showing up at meetings or the singing of songs or even the praying of certain prayers.  All these religious things mean nothing unless there is a real, true spiritual relationship in a person's heart with Jesus.

When the time comes when the two people mentioned in the story above kneel before God, I would not be a bit surprised to see them both have the same eternal lot as the other.  God does not like hypocrites and He certainly is not interested in people just going through motions and assuming they are His own.  God desires our whole heart and it is our heart that He will use to determine our eternal destiny.

There are 168 hours in a week.  Isn't God worthy of more than just ONE of those hours? 

 

Angry with God, as a Christian I Understand

I have a daughter, and I love her very much.  I’m not quite sure she understands quite yet, just how much I do love her; because sometimes being a dad, means you have to chose ‘doing right’ over ‘being right’.  During the course of her life, there have been many times when she was angry at me, angry because I would not let her have what she wanted, angry because I would not let her go out, angry because I would not let her stay up, angry because I made would not let her skip school; angry because I will not sign off on her choices, angry because I said ‘NO’.  I have been thinking about that a lot lately and it lead me to ask this question: 

Does anyone have a valid reason for being angry with God?

My answer to that question, as well as my thoughts about “anger with God” probably depend on the extent to which I am inclined to “be right” or to “do right” as a way of life.  If my answer is, “of course I am never right to be angry with God,” then invariably the next question becomes“, but what if I am?”  Or what if I really feel that I do have a valid reason to be angry with God?  God promises to always be with us, but what if it does not feel as if He is; what if like Jesus I cry out “My God My God, why have you forsaken me?”  Matthew 27:46 

Perhaps there are some of you who have lived such blessed, joyful lives, that you have never felt that anguish.  While there are others who morn the loss of their child, their marriage, their home, their career, their health, their dreams.  What of them, do they have a valid reason to be angry with God?  

Anger is an emotion, a reaction to a situation, as is grief, fear, despair, disappointment.  If it is okay to express grief, fear despair and disappointment to God, then why not anger?  Has my daughter on occasion had a reason to be angry with me?  Yes, because I’m the one who drew up the rules, I was the one who said no, and I understand what that means.  However, on those times when she was angry with me, it did not change my answer, nor did it alter the fact that I loved her with every ounce of my being.

 

So the next time you are thinking about trying to hide the things you are going through emotionally because you do not want to hear people tell you that you shouldn’t feel that way, because you aren’t trusting God enough, is to deny your humanness and the truth.  Moreover, those people are not being real, honest, or Christian.  If you find yourself angry with God, I picture Him looking upon you, smiling, nodding His head, saying I understand.  God is big enough and loves you enough to handle it.