Worship for the 'Me' Christiian Church

Okay a slight pun on a serious subject.  How many of us have silently sung this to ourselves in our everyday life?  There is always a grain of truth in humor, and perhaps to prevent you from actually being this kind of person you could do worst then to read Falling Upwards: A Spiritualy for the Two Halves of Life

Christian Church Bulletin Bloopers

To end your week, just a list of the top ten church bulletin bloopers of the week,  because you have to be able to laugh at yourself.

10. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 

9. Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation

8. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

7. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

6. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

5. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

4. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

3. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

2. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. 

And the number 1 church bulletin blooper of the week is: 


1. The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.' 

 

A Correct Assumption (Humor from the Christian viewpoint)

Just to end the week with a little light humor....

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a very busy street.  Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him.  The man did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup. 

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.  The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.   He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.  After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door.  She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him.   I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, the 'HE>I' window sticker, the 'Not Of This World' window sticker along with the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk,

Naturally... I assumed you had stolen the car." 

There always seems to be a grain of truth in what we find humorous.